Send Me a Selfie (I'll Sext You Right Back)

from by Teddy/Rosie

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lyrics

I don't blame you not to have the courage to call me
Send me a selfie I'll sext you right back
I tried callin' ya back but I've a bar and a half
Dare I ask ya did you keep that landline?

Wrote a letter by hand, put a koan at the end
[You know they say koans drive people crazy and I thought it might just drive us crazy for one another]
I'm a Romeo romancer she's a woo-woo-woman let's start dating

Time came, time went, to the city I was left
[Though I was never much scared of concrete]
Kept you in my heart right from the very start, girl I know you're reading me

Somehow with my letters got us pregnant man
[They say the pen is mightier than the -]
How it happened I don't know, she's a virgin, I been hella celibate

I don't blame you not to have the courage to call me
Send me a selfie I'll sext you right back
I tried callin' ya back but I've a bar and a half
Dare I ask ya did you keep that landline?

Set a meeting place at three like my mother used to teach
[This of course in the time long before smartphones]
Stood around 'til three-fifteen she ain't coming on the scene, I'm off again

I had good sense and I had a pen and it was red
[Although I draw terrible hearts I do have stanzas]
I left you a note you know what happened my old lady neighbor got it

But really I-

Don't blame you not to have the courage to call me
Send me a selfie it's as simple as that
I called cryin' and trashed no matter where you was at
You'd hit ignore and in the phonebook no more

I threw that phone in the river it'd never swum
[In retrospect that was irrational and ill-advised]
Now I got one of those phantom rings it's ringin' and ring ring ring ring I hate it

I even gave you a self-addressed envelope with a forever stamp
[I told you where I live and I don't tell everyone that]
You're a hotshot I'm a long-shot, nothin' we can do cause no one's shootin'

So adieu madame to the woman I never met
[You know I can always wait for the next one I guess]
But when I'm an old man four cats and a van my online dating profile can't fail me...except maybe it will...

But I don't

I don't blame a lot cause there's an ocean in between us
But you got sails so just watch that wind for me
I can't shake the thought that there's a way that we can beat this
Send me a signal and I'll build you a tower

Someday the sunflower
Will sow its seeds to the earth
Might you be there diggin' my land honey

credits

from The Dead House Sessions, EP 2, released April 18, 2014

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Teddy/Rosie San Francisco, California

Teddy Lee
Rosie Cima (rosiecima.bandcamp.com)

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